How to Speak with Self-Confidence and Sell Your Expertise

Getting your expertise in front of the right audience is important for business success. At times, you find yourself lost for words or stuttering when it matters most that you speak with confidence. You second-guess yourself wondering if you are saying or doing the right thing. This can happen to anyone.

Speaking with self-confidence is perhaps one of the most desired arts of human nature. It brings you powerfully in front of your target audience whether in a public or private setting.

Speaking verbalizes your inner thoughts, desires, aspirations and conveys them with expected accuracy to your hearers. Speaking is a form of self-expression that is treasured by all. And when delivered with self-confidence, it is poised to produce your desired result.

Life is designed to make you speak to get what you want. The primary way to get what you desire from anywhere or anyone is to state what you want in a way that produces an action-based response from your hearers.

Your audience is best served when they hear your words as well as your voice. Your words place your inner thoughts in a cognitive format for the brain of others to process and interpret. Your voice puts your words within the emotional context that allows your hearers to best understand, interpret and act on your message.



Speak with Self-Confidence

The level of self-confidence you bring into any interaction determines the level of success you achieve in that transaction.

Speaking with self-confidence is likely to bring you desired results, in situations where you have to, for example, sell your expertise, stand your ground with your peers, get your needs met by your spouse, set effective boundaries for your teenage children, effectively manage conflict, negotiate a raise with your boss, maintain your personal space with others, say ‘No’ without feeling guilty or afraid when you have to, or even say ‘Yes’ to an opportunity you will like to take advantage of.

Speaking is required in many situations of life, for instance, what you have to say could be in different formats, such as a request, a question, a dialogue, an instruction, a piece of advice, or an explanation, all meant to elicit a response from your audience. For example in;












1. Business Communications







You need to build trust and goodwill in business settings as you interact with various stakeholders. Activities could include selling your expertise to prospects, interactions with existing clients, in marketing calls, negotiations, presentations, sales, team settings, performance evaluations, job assignments, employee-boss interactions, office meetings, regulatory agencies engagements, and other workplace communication.


2. Personal Communication

Relationships are built or strengthened when you communicate with yourself, your spouse, your children, parents, siblings, relations, friends, in-laws, and various significant others. The level of self-confidence you exude when you speak should underscore the importance of your role in each of these relationships.


3. Social Settings

Self-Confidence empowers an individual to build social capital whether, in governance, politics, charities, parties, schools, gas stations, and where you might not necessarily be in a close relationship with your hearer but have to relate or interact for a brief period in time for a specific reason, which could be as simple as asking for directions, purchasing an item or just sharing a waiting room with others while waiting to be served.










Daily activities do not occur linearly but life is a complex, dynamic hub that has you in various things going on at the same time both in your public or private life. A self-confident approach in every situation is required if you want to take charge and put some result-oriented order into your life. You need to show up powerfully, and achieve desired outcomes in every interaction without stress. It may not be so easy when you start to speak self-confidently but you strive to improve in your daily interactions. When it becomes a part of you, you will keep situations under control. Altercations that can degenerate into stressful situations can more easily be avoided.






Table of Contents::

  1. 3 Myths People Have About Speaking with Self-Confidence
  2. 5 Reasons Why You Should Be Self-Confident  
  3. 5 Limiting Beliefs That Keep You from Striking Out
  4. 7 Self-Esteem Boosters That Increase Your Self-Confidence
  5. 12 Steps To Take To Speak With Self-Confidence




(1)   3 Myths that people have about speaking with self-confidence



Myth 1: Speaking with Self-Confidence is the natural trait of certain personality types

The myth is not true. Self-confidence is not a specific trait for certain personality types. All personalities demonstrate the presence of abilities, talents, traits, and competencies so anyone can be self-confident.

Man is a triune being. Every human being has a spirit, soul, and body. A holistic approach to understanding humans is to look at them from that perspective. Your personality influences your style of communication but not your ability to speak with self-confidence.


Myth 2: Speaking with Self-Confidence is dependent on certain external attributes

Another myth is that self-confidence results from positive external attributes such as wealth, material possessions, connections, academic, or professional qualifications, etc. This is not true, while all these might provide you with a sense of comfort in certain situations, it does not guarantee self-confidence. Self-confidence usually stems from a sense of worth about who you are. It is an expression of what you can do with what you already have in terms of abilities and/or skills and feeling secure with it. You should appreciate what others bring to the table, but never think you rank any less beside them.


Myth 3:Speaking with Self-Confidence makes You look Abrasive, Brash, and Proud

The other myth is that speaking with self-confidence means projecting yourself and expressing your views in an insensitive, rude, and arrogant manner with high-sounding vocabularies to demonstrate what you know. Far from it, self-confidence helps you to be assertive rather than aggressive.


(2)   5 Reasons Why You Should Be Self-Confident





(i) You will Get What You Want

It is as simple as that. You need to ask to receive. When you ask with self-confidence, it shows that you know what you want and you know what you are talking about. This commands respect from your audience and a flow to you of what you want. Even if what you want is not available your feel self-confidence will prompt you to negotiate a credible alternative.


(ii)Get to Be Yourself

The most liberating posture is to be authentic in all you do. Trying to be what you are not because you feel it might be more acceptable leads to pressure and at times, a feeling of being trapped. This counter-productive emotion is draining.

(iii) Showcase Your Unique Style

You become free to Speak in ways that reflect your unique style and personality. This provides you with a natural flow in conversations. You end up looking more self-confident than you feel.


(iv) Eliminate Acceptability Pressure

You are not performing for the gallery. No one is judging you. You are okay as you are. You don’t need to prove anything. You are important to this earth, that is why you are here. Therefore, you have something to offer and do not need external affirmation to be secure, and confident in your ability to contribute to the wellbeing of the universe.


(v)Provide the Assurance Others Need that You can truly help them.

You were created as a solution to someone’s problem and anything short of serving your allotted constituency is living a life below what you are capable of living. Be self-confident that no one can serve your target audience as you. So do not short-change yourself by holding back. Know that you matter and speak knowing you do.


(3)   5 Limiting Beliefs that Keep You from Striking Out 








 (i) Self-Esteem issues

                (ii) Fear of invading other people’s space    

      (iii) Not being sure you know what to say

             (iv) Fear of being judged   

      (v) Anticipating embarrassment/unsure if people want to hear you






































































































































































































































































































































(4)   7 Self-Esteem Boosters That Increase Your Self-Confidence 

      (I) Value yourself, and view yourself positively.

      (ii) Self-Talk positively and feel empowered. You are a masterpiece, not a copy.

      (iii) Identify what you are naturally good at and develop it.

      (iv) Become not only your critic but also your own greatest fan.

      (v)  Get your motivation from within you not from without.

      (vi) Learn to love yourself first before others can love you.

      (vii) Speak positively about yourself and declare good things about your future.


(5)   12 Steps to take to Speak with Self-Confidence



 1. Develop yourself and your expertise.

       2. Research topics of interest and understand how it impacts everyday life.

       3. Develop a personal mission statement that speaks to your goals.

       4. Craft an elevator pitch articulating your expertise. Minimizing stutters and stumbles says, Forbes

       5. Visualize the image you want others to have of you and walk the talk.

       6. Take your personal, emotional, and mental care seriously.

       7. Sleep, rest, pray, exercise, and eat healthily.

       8. Keep healthy relationships. Cut off toxic associations that keep you down.

       9. What you carry in you is important. Somebody somewhere needs to hear it.

       10. When you speak, stay authentic and aim for a win-win outcome.

       11. Have the right view of yourself. Let no one define you.





    12. Read books, attend webinars, and watch TED talk.

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